Accepting the Beginner Stance

As adults, it seems we have a tendency to need to know it all. It’s like our default turns to a need to fall away from being a beginner. There is this thought process that can get us stuck in feeling like we have to be in a place of being an expert or at least in an intermediate state.

However, being in a place of needing to "know it all" can provide a certain level of pressure and expectation, which can lead to ignorance and a lack of patience for new experiences.

When seeking change or starting something new, it is vital, not to mention much more enjoyable, to remain in a compassionate place of being a beginner. When starting something new, it can sometimes feel scary. A sense of fear can come along, urging you to reconsider trying this unknown entity. Fears of failure, questions of "am I doing this right?" or "am I measuring up?" tend to arise. 

Yet, this beginner stage can be so refreshing when we learn to accept it. Simply allowing all the uncertainties and lessons to arise just as they may without needing to judge how “well” you are doing at it. Being able to remain in a place of simple curiosity of what may come and how you may feel during the experience can support your ability to ease into the process and to continue on with it.

Being in this place of a beginner invites a sense of adventure and exploration, which can take away from the "need to know". This beginner stance can feel inviting when it is met with compassion for the process. Being in a compassionate space means you are willing to have a deep acceptance for the gentleness and patience it requires to embark on these new endeavors. It means having a forgiving attitude towards any component, which you may judge as a “falter”. Finally, it means you are willing to stay open to the experiences despite the fear and questions that may arise for the compassion you bring to yourself in these moments will provide comfort and understanding for this beginner process.

Whenever I find myself steering away from this beginner stance, I remind myself of how long it took to talk after being born. Just imagine if we placed the “expert” status on a baby to use full sentences after being born?! Seems pretty absurd and ridiculous right?! So, when you are embarking on something new, remember that it takes time, practice, patience and compassion for this beginner process. If you need to, imagine you are that new born baby embarking on this new challenge and feel how much easier it may be for you to bring this gentle kindness to the process.


By Liz Myers, MA, PCCI ~ Rooted Living Wellness Coach

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