It's Just a Poison to Me

I stopped consuming alcohol 3 years ago today. People often wonder why I took this off the table of consumption. Simply stated, “it’s just a poison for me”.  Just like those with celiac disease, you know, those people that cannot consume gluten because it is a poison to their physical body? Similarly, I cannot consume alcohol because it is a poison to my spiritual body. My trip with alcohol consumption is like an off ramp that leads me away from my highest good.  

I wasn’t a daily drinker but I did binge drink on the weekends for a long time. I worked in the field of social work and the day to day of emotional stress would take it’s toll on me. I found myself drowning the emotional stress by partying over the weekend in an attempt to erase any traumatic happenings from the work week. Not to mention my past growing up in a household that didn’t know how to handle alcohol. Like many who discover that alcohol is like a poison to their mind, body or spirit, it often runs in the family.

There came a point in my life where I realized that I was good at caring for others but I had no idea how to care for myself. It was this constant lack of self-care that made it easy to reach for a drink when I felt overwhelmed, lonely or stressed out. I simply did not know how else to cope with the sense of overwhelm. I was used to being distracted by other peoples problems and by joining in with co-workers for a drink to “cope” after work. I mean, we deserve to drink away the stress at the end of the workweek right?! It was this kind of mentality that kept me trapped in this blind cycle of treating the pain with poison.

In this discovery of having a lack of self-care, I asked for guidance of where to turn. I started by going to a spiritual center for support. I hadn’t been to church or any type of spirit-based center since I was a child but I needed to start somewhere. From this place, I received what felt like a deep calling to attend meditation. This is where I began to unfold. I continued to consume alcohol but the amount lessoned as I began to realize the need for it to decrease in my life. As I continued to attend meditations (while crying through most of them), I received more messages that “quitting alcohol is in your highest good”. I kept ignoring this message of course until after my last drunken night when I awoke in the morning and I felt so off track with who I truly am that I made the decision to take the "poison" off the table.

Through the use of meditation, yoga, mindfulness, therapy and great friends, I’ve found a new way of living- a way in which I value and practice self-care while I also thoroughly enjoy the work I do in caring for others.

What I’ve learned from this sobering journey is that I choose what I consume, end of story. I choose to honor my inner wisdom and use my voice. I choose to honor my body, spirit and soul with its needs for a higher good. I’ve learned sometimes it’s best to stay home if I feel overwhelmed by the idea of too much surrounding poison being offered. I’ve also learned not to isolate and to join in on fun events even when alcohol will be present. However I make sure I’m feeling up to practicing my “no’s” to the offering and to not take any of it personally. I’ve learned to expand outward to people, places and spaces that are not centered on alcohol. I’ve found a sense of solace with my new wellness communities of yoga, meditation and music.

We all too often take in some type of "poison" out of the need to please others, to fit in, to avoid being the outcast. However,
it’s in the honoring and practicing of your unique needs that gives permission for others to be their unique selves and to honor their wisdom within. As Mahatma Gandhi says, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world”. 

I am forever grateful for this sobering journey. If you are feeling the call to get sober and/or to discover self-care, I highly encourage you to reach out to one of these resources below or to a trusted friend....

> Alcoholics Anonymous: I never took the AA route, but I’ve heard many say how the support groups and 12 steps have been vital to their recovery. http://www.aa.org

> Life Ring:  I did this support group for awhile and it was helpful in my process. It’s more of a wellness focused sobriety group. http://lifering.org

> Al-anon: This is a great support group for those affected by someone with an alcohol problem. http://www.alanonsandiego.org

> Adult Children of Alcoholics is a support group for adults that who grew up with alcoholic parents. http://www.adultchildren.org

> Pilgrimage of the Heart Yoga studio. I’ve listed this resource as this is where I attended FREE meditations during my sober journey.
http://www.pilgrimageyoga.com/workshops-events/meditation/

> Rooted Living Wellness: I’ve listed my website for offering in therapeutic wellness coaching, mindfulness based services, yoga classes, meditation recordings, etc. http://www.rootedlivingwellness.com

> Ginseng Yoga Studio: This studio was a vital component in my recovery. It continues to be what I call my “yoga home”. I am happy and proud to say I teach yoga there now.  http://ginsengsandiego.com

              ~Much Love,  Liz Myers Rooted Living Wellness~